Proofreading/Editing Samples

Initial Article (Excerpt)- #1

“I am not a writer. At least, I didn’t think I was. Then I did. Then I didn’t again.

Here’s what happened:

Initial Success and Unrealistic Expectations
I have been writing for one week. I’ve been thinking about writing and reading about writing now for years. I’ve been talking about it for a little less than that. And I finally, finally walked through my fear of vulnerability, and after having my husband (a proven writer) proofread my work, I published my first article on Medium one week ago.

The first one did not get curated. As it turns out, no matter how much information I’d consumed about “How To Write a Great Medium Article” and “11 Things To Do In Every Medium Article,” asking for claps is not cool.

So, I tried again. That one did get distributed.

And I felt the sweet success of unrealistic expectations and external validation. I started fantasizing about leaving my day job and tra-la-la-ing through a field of abounding, never-ending streams of freelance work and waking up at 8:00 AM.

Not really. Kind of. That’s not the point.

For the first time in a long time, I felt purpose. I wrote words, and people—real, breathing people—read them. And clapped for them! Without my asking!

“Just keep writing,” they said. “Even when it’s hard!” they said.

I tried again. I didn’t even ask my husband to proofread it! I got bolder.

I publicized it. I wanted everyone to see it.”

—From “I Survived My First Experience with Writing Criticism,” Medium, Jamie Hammond (2019)

My Revision

I didn’t always think of myself as a writer. Then I did. Then I doubted it again.

Initial Success and Unrealistic Expectations

After many years of reading, thinking, and talking about what it would be like to be a writer, I finally embraced my vulnerability and published my first article on Medium one week ago.

The first one did not get curated. Turns out, no matter how many “11 Things To Do In Every Medium Article” guides you read, asking for claps is not cool.
So I wrote a second article. This time, it got distributed.

Suddenly, I felt a rush of external validation. I daydreamed about quitting my day job, sleeping in till 8, and frolicking through an endless field of blooming freelance gigs—all of which felt like unrealistic expectations, but that’s not the point.

The point is: for the first time in a long while, I felt purpose. I wrote something, and people—real, breathing people—read it. And clapped. Without me even asking.

“Just keep writing,” they said. “Even when it’s hard,” they said.
So I did. I wrote my third article, and this time I felt even bolder. I wanted everyone to see it.

Editorial Rationale & What I Changed

While it’s important to maintain the writer’s playful tone and acknowledge that choices like repetition and metaphor are intentional, creative ones, sentence clarity and readability must take priority over style.

  • Over-cluttered opening: The first line was choppy and overly fragmented. I preserved the introspective rhythm but merged the fragments for better pacing.

  • Metaphor refinement: The author introduces an image of “frolicking through a field” but leaves it thematically disconnected. I added the word blooming to make the metaphor more cohesive—it now directly links the freelance opportunities to growth and creative fertility, making the imagery more purposeful.

  • Redundancy trimmed: Repetitive transitions like “That’s not the point” and unnecessary intensifiers were pruned to tighten flow without losing tone.

  • Unnecessary mention of the husband: The repeated mention of the husband proofreading adds nothing to the article (his feedback doesn’t seem to help or hurt her growth or confidence as a writer) and feels randomly wedged into the sentence, creating clutter.

Overall, the goal of my edit was to preserve the writer’s voice while ensuring that each sentence serves a clear purpose—narratively, emotionally, or stylistically.

Initial Article (Excerpt)- #2

“My sister’s wedding is coming up next month, and she sent out this really strict dress code with specific colors — like mustard yellow and forest green — that I absolutely hate. She also said no jeans or sneakers, which I get, but the color thing feels way too controlling. I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable following those rules and asked if I could just come casual, but she got really mad at me and said I’m disrespecting her big day.


Honestly, I feel like it’s my choice what to wear. It’s not like I’m trying to ruin her wedding or demand she change anything. I just don’t want to spend a ton of money on a dress and shoes I’ll never wear again, especially in colors I don’t like and don’t look good on me. Also, it’s going to be really hot that day, so fancy clothes just sound uncomfortable.


Now the whole family is upset with me. They’re saying I’m selfish and that I’m ruining the vibe of the wedding by refusing to follow the dress code. They keep telling me that it’s “just a few hours” and that I’m making a bigger deal out of it than I should. My sister hasn’t talked to me since I said I might not come. I feel bad but also kind of frustrated.


I get that it’s her day and I want to support her, but I think there’s a line between supporting and blindly obeying unreasonable rules. I’ve tried to compromise, but it feels like she’s just expecting everyone to do exactly what she says without question. I’m not even asking her to change the wedding or the venue or anything like that, just the dress code for one guest.”

—From Am I The Asshole Subreddit by Anonymous (2025)

My Revision

My sister’s wedding is next month, and while I was excited at first, that changed when she sent out her dress code. It’s extremely specific — not just “semi-formal” or “cocktail,” but mandatory colors like mustard yellow and forest green (which I hate and look awful in), plus a no-jeans/no-sneakers rule. I get wanting people to look nice, but this feels excessive.

I asked if I could wear something I already own that’s a bit more neutral, still respectful — just not those exact colors — and she got really upset. She said it was disrespectful to ask for exceptions and that she wants the photos to look cohesive. I said I wasn’t trying to ruin anything, I just didn’t want to spend money on a whole new outfit I’ll never wear again.

On top of that, I have a really hard time finding clothes that fit me well, and the idea of buying something I don’t feel confident or comfortable in just for one afternoon is frustrating. It’s also going to be outdoors in July, and the thought of sweating through a fitted dress and heels in 90+ degree weather sounds miserable.

Since she was unwilling to compromise at all, I told her I might just sit this one out. Now the whole family is calling me selfish, saying it’s “just one day” and I should suck it up for her. She hasn’t spoken to me since. I feel bad for upsetting her, but also kind of resentful that no one seems to care how uncomfortable I’d be.

I want to support her and be there for her, but I don’t think it’s fair to be told exactly what I have to wear down to the color palette or be labeled a bad sister. I’m not asking her to change the theme or cancel anything — just for a little flexibility. So... AITA?

Editorial Rationale & What I Changed

While it’s important to maintain the writer’s conversational tone and reflect the casual, emotionally honest voice, clarity and narrative progression must take priority over spontaneity.

  • Disjointed progression fixed: The original structure jumped between the dress code details, personal frustration, and family backlash in a way that confused the timeline and made emotional stakes unclear. I reorganized the paragraphs chronologically and emotionally—starting with the setup, then the conflict, and finally the fallout—to build a smoother arc.

  • Transitions added: Each paragraph originally started without reference to the one before, creating a fragmented rhythm. Transitional phrases like “On top of that,” “Since she was unwilling to compromise,” and “Now the whole family is upset with me” were added to create organic flow between evolving ideas.

  • Grouped emotional context: The original spread the user's feelings across multiple disconnected places, weakening impact. I consolidated emotional reasoning (heat, body discomfort, lack of confidence) into one paragraph to create stronger empathy and clarity before introducing external conflict.

  • Closing reframed: The original closing mixed justification and frustration too early in the post. I moved it to the end and rewrote it to emphasize self-awareness and reflection, which invites more balanced reader judgment.